✒ Don’t Let Bullies Determine Your Life


There is this girl I know very well, (lets call her “Ella” for protective purposes).
She used to grow up with boys and never really mingled with girls her age when she was younger.
Whenever her parents got divorced her life was in turmoil and the few boys, who used to be her only associates started to make fun about her, because back then, where she grew up, divorce was a bad thing. And when adults talk, kids pick up on things and make dramas worse.
Ella had to move far away with one of her parents and the boys in her new town didn’t mingle with girls.
Having no social skills about playing with dolls and having miniature tea parties, it was almost impossible to get into the girl’s cliques that already existed way before she came along. Ella had to realise, that she would never truly fit in.
She then had to move again, swapped schools and things got worse. Because now, hormones would play a major role on top of everything.
She made a few friends in existing cliques, slowly, but found herself to make quite a few more enemies than associates on her quest. Enemies, that her new found friends feared. And not wanting to be bullied themselves, they turned away from her again.
She was now lonely, separated from the group and an easy target for predators.

The following years were never-ending, or so she thought. With several attempts per day, to humiliate and torture her, Ella’s bullies succeeded in breaking her eventually.
She though about ending it all, with just one leap over the edge. But she thought her parents would blame themselves for it and she didn’t want them to feel as bad as she did. Nobody should feel the way she did.
She fed of the little bit of Love she had left inside of her, started to embrace her differences and developed patience. So much of it in fact, that none else could top her.
She knew her time would come. Eventually.

The kids in school would change and turn one by one away from their idols/bullies and become their own personalities. People that would admire Ella’s differences. And she would become quite popular.
Her bullies now weakened due to dwindling numbers of followers, Ella finally spoke up.
After 8 years of mental and physical terror, her worst bully was shocked by the words she spoke. The bully started laughing, with a crazy edge of relief and said: “Finally, I was waiting since years for you to say something.” Then turned around and never bothered her again. In fact, they even became some sort of friends in the years after. Because patience and forgiveness weren’t Ella’s only qualities.

Ella became a very treasured friend to countless people in the years after, a mentor and leader to many, for whom she changed and continues to change the world, their world, a little bit to the better every day.

 

Please always remember:

  • Bullies are only strong in a group and only as strong as the group allows them to be.
  • Bullies usually learn their trade from their own tormentors. Because most of them get bullied themselves – by abusive parents, older siblings or such. Of course they will try to hide this fact from the outside world. But the evidence is always there. Instead of showing weakness, though, they choose to be tough and abusive themselves.
  • Always consider to speaking to a trustworthy person about your options (even an anonymous helpline – there are plenty of options out there. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!). But do NOT involve someone actively to speak for yourself in front of your bully, especially not one of your parents, that makes whatever you’re in, much worse.
  • Do face your bully if you dare and speak up for yourself. You may be in for a fight, but then at least you stood up for yourself. You may also be surprised though, sometimes things turn out to be just a phycho game and end like in Ella’s case. (Which is a true story, by the way.)

You need to understand, that self harm, terror, sadness and fear are only temporary experiences and tests in life.

If you’re going through Hell, keep going
(Winston Churchill)

Self harm is NO solution!!! You may not see it right now, but there are people out there that you will harm with your actions, in many ways.

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You are NOT a bad person. You are of magic value to this world. Every single one of us is.

Find your way and stand above such primitive behaviour of the people around you.
You have discovered depths of your psyche and feelings of such intensity that these other people will never experience or understand. Use this to your advantage. Become a better person and rise above the people that surround you.

Time WILL pass and limitations will fall away. You will not always feel the way you feel right now, or be in the place you’re in right now. And this is a promise.
Get yourself together. Make a plan. Envision your future without those morons and grow into the person you really want to be and deserve to be.

Be weird, be different, be creative, be experimental!
The “freaks” from today will be the creators, inventors and leaders of tomorrow.
Your future input will change the world as we know it.

Bullies are only as strong as the followers supporting them. When they fall away, the bullies will be nothing but hateful, lonely little creatures, that have no true friends. Followers are people that fear someones power, maybe even admire the person. But they are no true friends. And for how long do you think will High school last? Or university, or that job that you’re in right now? (Wherever your bully might be.)

Be brave, step up and change your path. Don’t give up on that beautiful person that hides beneath your scared and scarred shell.
Pave your way into a brighter future and blossom with every step.

You are loved!
You are beautiful!
And you are YOUnique.

Be proud of yourself. No one else has your experiences, knowledge and wisdom, your skills, your talent, your attitude.
Beauty won’t last forever, knowledge does.
Everybody has a skill, a property, an experience that none else has or had in the same way. Find your uniqueness and use it to your advantage.
Be the Magic you want to see in the world.

Don’t let that one single person with his/her opinionless followers scare you off.
Nothing lasts forever. Not even their interest in bullying.

 

(This is my advise, learned through a personal experience of “Ella”. If your bully is extremely dangerous (owns weapons, or may truly endanger your health or life) do not attempt on facing them in a fight. Try to find help behind the scenes. Go to learn martial arts for self-defence, go to the police, or find a different peaceful solution with your person of trust. Do NOT endanger your life!)

Please share your experiences, opinions or advise in the comment section below. You might help someone, to avoid to go through the same struggle you had to.

Thanks for reading.

And good luck!

 Photo by: unknown

  • December 10, 2015
  • 0

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